not all neglected children have super powers. not all escape. not all get rescued.

this is where emotional support comes in handy” 


why would i ever try

to forget you?

as if I would like to select

just certain passages of life;

disregarding the ones that felt real;

that made life worth it

and time count.

why would I try

to do anything but embrace

that I think of you

and carry your memory

as if it was the sacred universe

unraveled but tucked.

I have never tried

to forget you

but I have not learned

yet

life without you.







hay ángeles entre nosotros


Until you see her at sea
until she takes your breath away
while she shines her light on the waters,
until then, there is no super moon.
Until you see her
and your heart wants desperately
to jump out to search he who you 
wish for; 
until then,
the moon is the moon.
And the wish is just a wish.
On the sea, adrift
she shines like no other,
and his name echoes on the horizon,
always coming back to me. 

Until you see her at sea

until she takes your breath away

while she shines her light on the waters,

until then, there is no super moon.

Until you see her

and your heart wants desperately

to jump out to search he who you 

wish for; 

until then,

the moon is the moon.

And the wish is just a wish.

On the sea, adrift

she shines like no other,

and his name echoes on the horizon,

always coming back to me. 



I hear your voice

in my head,

in my heart.

It guides me, still.

It makes me grounded,

even now,

drifting at sea.

Lost as it may

found as I was.

to live, to die.

To love.

you.


And so life presents the ultimate irony,

the magistral lesson and the humbling thunder of understanding

than can only come from being so vulnerable

there is no more strenght to activate old patterns and mechanisms.

I found myself asking,

can you see me?

knowing that for 36 years I have been a narrative,

a story of someone that does not exist.

and with the still open seam in my heart

I sank into loneliness of having lost what I never had.

bending time, I felt that love. Again.

remembering it has been the one time the world made sense

and I felt part of it.

I am vanishing again into the same understanding and

compromise that made me a corner when I was small enough

to create a shelter under a chair.

somehow the understanding of this does not hurt less.

somehow, now the emptiness is deeper,

since my heart knows exactly who to call for.

it is the beauty of irony

and the fear that still rules over me

I remember, you.

The words resonate within me

so I don’t get lost in self delusion.

but I get lost,

still.

without you. 



filing in spaces with the meaning 
that holds my heart together.

filing in spaces with the meaning 

that holds my heart together.